You never make me laugh, you never take me out
And when we're on the phone you never listen to a word I say.
In fact, I hear the television on.
You're always rude to mom, 
My friends wonder what's wrong
`Cause every time we get together you're despondent and impatient,
Then duck out early to get baked.

"Oh, baby, I'm just going through a phase"
Yeah, I've heard it all before.

O, the sadness that you've put me through
So that's why, dude, I'm breaking up with you.

You're way too tired to chat but you're good for rolling in the sack.
I used to hear the strings and bells of symphonies
But now I just hear the X-Box on the surround sound.
And though I don't care what you look like - You've really let yourself go.
There was a time when I'd assume I would be doing something wrong
But now I've smartened up.

"Oh, baby, I'm just dealing with some stress"
That used to fly about a month ago.

What was once red-hot is now a faded blue
And that's why dude, I'm breaking up with you.
That's why dude, I'm breaking up with you.

I'm taking the high road; I'm doing it face to face.
I'm taking the high road;  I'm never looking back

You never pick up the check
I'm tired of wiping your ass.
Your eyes are wandering just way too much
I'm curious if I'm even present in your mind at all!

"Oh, baby, I'm just a complicated soul"
Then it's time for us to simplify.

Life's too short.  I want something new!
So that's why, dude, I'm breaking up with you.
This fragile love never even grew
And that's why, dude, I'm breaking up with you.
I've made my verdict, no more need for clues
And that's why, dude, I'm breaking up with you

We all together in the act hopping in a gunny sack;
Journey's end, we lay a patch.
Does it seem right to put up a vicious fight?
Such competitive nature rains on the brightness of community.

I can see the path I choose to take.
I read the simple credo of a man on a bench in the park down near the Broadway

Bridging the gap between the right and the wrong, I pick my fight 
To maintain a guileless plight, but stay protected.
Will I ever find the germ of a true forbearance 
Free of contamination and vogue mythology?

I try to keep my head screwed on straight
But often I run away with my desires:It's a dream in the pipeline that leads to the sea

And I want off this archipelago,
And I will build a raft to wherever I can go.
And I want off this archipelago,
I've been cast away too long

Soar well above the rising shit, be a pillar of true grit,
Persevere and never quit.

O conscience and truth, let your beacon be my guide.
Never ever compromise.

And I want off this archipelago,
And I will find the soil where all my seeds will grow.
And I want off this archipelago,
I've been cast away too long.

Courtesy will root me well
Integrity, now ring them bells
Never ever compromise.
Sing all the notes of self-control
Indomitable spirit, soar!
Thank you, Austin.  I am sad we never met.

And I want off this archipelago,
And I will brave the ocean's raging tempest roar
And I want off this archipelago,
I've been cast away too long.

Down the Trans-can, its hard to get lost
It only goes one way, East to West
So that's why I follow it close
Don't stray too far

Down on your luck
Hop in the car it starts looking up

I'm out of place
Wherever I go
So I travel straight
Without the need for a home

Down by Vancouver Island
I met some good people who remembered my name
And so I plan to stay pretty close
And not stray too far, in case nobody noticed

I'm out of place
Wherever I go
So I travel straight
Without the need for a home

Down in the dumps
I find it real, real hard
To get back out

I got a letter from the Ministry of Resources
Paragraph five tells of young hopes, those wild horses!
Tales from the goldfish bowl.

A stranger told me a sweet murder were my eyes
The farmer's market harvested a thousand smiles
Habs score another goal!

I've got a mother who's peacock proud no matter
I've got a best pal and he's a solid understand-er.
A swollen heart with soul!

I got a letter from the Ministry of Resources
O, Postal Service, may godspeed, `cause it's important!
Tales from the goldfish bowl!